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As parents, we often encounter seemingly simple tasks that pose significant challenges when teaching our neurodivergent children. One such milestone that can cause frustration for both parents and kids alike is learning to tie shoes. Whether it's the intricate movements or the patience required, guiding children (and sometimes teens) through this skill requires understanding, practice, and a touch of creativity.
Today, let's dive into the world of autism and shoe tying. We'll explore common hurdles, practical strategies, and tips from experienced parents to make this essential life skill just a bit easier for you and your child.
Understanding the Challenge
Tying shoes may seem like a straightforward task to adults, but for children, it involves mastering a sequence of coordinated movements. Fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and cognitive abilities all play crucial roles in the shoe-tying process. Additionally, many autistic children are resistant to change and may view the idea of having to tie their own shoelaces as an unwanted change.
Practical Strategies for Success
Here are some practical strategies to help your child master this essential skill:
1.Start with Play: Begin by introducing basic concepts of shoelaces and knots during play. Use oversized lacing cards or toys with shoelace-like strings to familiarize your child with the motions involved. There are some commercially available dolls or large shoes that children can use to practice this skill. You can also put shoelaces through the lid or bottom of
a shoe box to act as the “shoe” for the child to practice.
2.Break It Down: Break the shoe-tying process into manageable steps, focusing on one element at a time. The steps need to be very small. Initially just teaching the child to place one shoestring on top of the other on the opposite side is enough for a child to do. This is often called a task analysis and you can look online for a shoe tying task analysis if you are having difficulty breaking down the steps or purchase one online on Teachers Pay Teachers or Etsy. Some people prefer to teach the first step (then adult completes the rest) and then gradually add steps or alternately you can have the child complete the last step (adult preforms the rest) and gradually add in the steps before.
3. Visual Aids: Utilize visual aids such as clip art pictures or photos of each step. These can be done by taking pictures of each step and printing them or purchasing online on sights such as Etsy or Teachers Pay Teachers. Visual learners often benefit from seeing the sequence of movements depicted in a clear format. A demonstration from a person is seen and then gone relatively quickly, but a sequence of pictures can be carefully studied by the child and referenced back to again and again as needed.
4. Song or Rhyme: If you have a child that is a strong auditory learner or particularly likes music you can make up a simple rhyme or song that talks them through the steps or you can look online and find one other people have used. Here is an example:
Loop it
Swoop it
Pull it tight
Make your shoes look just right.
Bunny ears go 'round and through,
Now you've tied your shoes,
woohoo!
5.Video modelling: Many children with autism are very receptive to information presented in the form of video. If you look on YouTube, you can find many examples of therapists such as occupational therapists teaching the process of shoe tying.
6. Practice Patience: Recognize that learning to tie shoes is a skill that requires time and repetition to master. It is not uncommon for it to take a child with motor planning issues more than a year of trying before they are successfully tying their shoes independently.
Encourage your child to practice regularly but avoid placing undue pressure or expectations on them to progress too quickly or to expect mastery immediately. Remind them that they just need to work on the one step and gradually they will get it all. One of my twins just recently learned how to tie his shoes independently at the age of 13 and every morning he ties his shoes for school, the look of satisfaction on his face after years of struggling, is priceless.
7. Teach More Than 1 Method: There are many methods of ways to tie shoes. It is tempting to teach your child the method you use to tie your own shoes or the one you were taught as a child, but remember many autistic children have unusual learning patterns. A child may be able to grasp one method easier than another AND it can be fun for your child to watch as you learn a new way to tie shoes.
8. Practice During Calm Times: Explore alternative methods of securing shoes, such as elastic or Velcro fastenings, while your child develops their shoe-tying skills. This can help alleviate frustration and anxiety that many older children begin to feel around this skill. If they must practice the skill at the same time that the household is stressed about getting out of the house on time it can add extra stress an already difficult activity. Invite your child to practice this skill during times when it doesn’t matter how quickly they work, and mastery is not required.
9. Mark the Laces: As you are tying the shoelaces, you can use a permanent marker to place a line where the child needs to fold the laces or grasp them to give an extra visual cue if your child has difficulty. It may also be helpful during the teaching process to use 2 different colored laces. I have purchased white laces and used a marker to color only one of the laces or to color them each a different color to successfully cue the child and give them a clearer picture of what each lace is doing.
10. Celebrate Progress: Celebrate each milestone and improvement, no matter how small. Offer praise, encouragement, and rewards to reinforce your child's efforts and boost their confidence.
By incorporating these strategies into your approach to teaching shoe-tying skills, you can transform what may initially seem like a daunting task into a less frustrating and hopefully eventually successful experience for your child. Remember that every child learns at their own pace, so be patient, supportive, and adaptable to their individual needs.
How do you approach teaching shoe-tying skills with your child? Share your insights and tips in the comments below to support fellow parents on their journey towards shoe-tying success.